9 Months In, 9 Months Out

Addison will be 9 months old on Friday. I wanted to take a moment to share a few thoughts on the past year and a half.

I found out I was pregnant on October 14, 2009. I was so scared and excited. My pregnancy turned out to be straight out of a textbook, so streamlined and on time. She was even born on her due date, when does that ever happen? I could not have been more blessed to have such a smooth pregnancy (minus the morning sickness for the first 10 weeks!). While I think that giving a long, in depth account of my birth story is not necessary (and quite boring unless you have already given birth and are just interested to compare), I want to reflect on a few thoughts about her birth. The big push was here and out she came, I looked down at her and remember thinking 'just get her to the table and make sure she is perfectly fine before you bring her to me' and 'I need to hear her cry.' I pleaded this in my head. She did and it was breathtaking. I think the Lord knew that I didn't handle blood very well, as she was so clean and angel-like already. Her skin was a pretty pink color and her eyes were a little swollen. I remember that it was very surreal, like I was there doing the motions, but I wasn't really there, only my body was. I tried so very hard to soak up these first few moments of her life, but as many of you know, the delivery room is not at all like what you see on TV. Bummer. I knew that she had a waiting room full of people dying to meet her so I decided that she & I could have our time later. Our parents came in and looking back, I still feel like I was in a fog. Maybe because I was in labor for 25 hours and hadn't slept. The day and a half in the hospital felt like an eternity. I kept wanting to feel and look at my flattened belly. No huge baby bump, it felt freeing then. I was not afraid of her until we had been at home for a couple days. I didn't feel like a mother immediately, probably because your life changes forever in one second so our minds have to adjust to that. I was so scared that I was going to something wrong and she was going to die because of it. Stupid adult irrational fears, they get you every time. But we made it and now 9 months later, and I feel as if she and I have known each other forever. I truly feel like we are soul mates. She has hit every developmental milestone ahead of time and is becoming smarter by the day. She is the perfect mix of Ryan and I. I am so thankful for a healthy baby, and for a baby girl. I have always wanted a girl, and I certainly got my wish. My absolute favorite thing about her: her laugh. NOTHING is more precious in this entire world than when she laughs. It makes me tear up every time. When things are as perfect as she is, you often wonder why God chose you to be so lucky but I say go with it! My life is not perfect, no-- but we are happy, healthy, and in love so it has to be pretty close. I think this has been a pretty fantastic 18 months. I would like to say that I'm looking forward to the next 18 months and I am, however I'm not looking forward to her growing up but I can do nothing about that. Time is not on our side in this world. I am looking forward to showing her how much her dad & I love her and just how marvelous we think she is. Sometimes I feel like our family is complete...but we shall see, only time will tell. For now, we are enjoying watching her learn to walk, communicate with us, try new things, and listening to her laugh :)